Even in cute country towns like Oakham parking-rage sleeps (all be it quietly) beneath the surface. Today I experienced the full brunt of a tweed dressed individual’s dummy-spit. His anger was to do with him driving past a woman who was getting into her car to leave. I couldn’t believe my luck as I watched him in his Jag, obviously frustrated with the parking situation drive past her, missing the fact she was leaving.
I on the other hand, I had seen her, so I flicked my indicator and waited for her to pull out. Isn’t it a fact that good and calm people like me receive Gods parking graces and bad angry types like him, well, they don’t. They end up getting short-changed by God and receive an occasional flick on the ear by Him as well.
Anyway, there I was waiting patiently, indicator blinking happily, when to my indignant horror the Jag suddenly stopped and started backing up in a effort to psych me out of my God given right — the parking spot. He backed up almost onto my front bumper, but I stood fast — which meant the poor woman in her Toyota couldn’t exit her parking spot.
The Stand Off
When one assesses these types of situations in the rush of the moment I don’t know about you, but I thought, who would I rather be here and decided I’d rather be me as I held all the aces.
He couldn’t get the parking spot unless I moved and she was being blocked by him, not just because he was a twit, but because God was punishing him for being a pushy, rich country toff with no manners.
There is a quiet satisfaction that envelopes one when you know you hold all the aces, so I smiled at him, and at her I shrugged. She sighed visibly and he chucked a wobbly and tried to back up even closer to me.
Eventually, because I’m a kind soul from that gentle land downunder, I took the high moral ground and gave way — a half car length.
This meant he could back up a little more, but she still couldn’t quiet get out. I just wanted to prove the point that I was in charge here and it was my benevolence that was fixing this trivial problem they both had.
This is when he blew! Arms waving out of the window he slammed the Jag into drive and floored it. Sunny Oakham then enjoyed it’s very own smoking tyre display (maybe a new annual event) the nice woman in the Toyota then glided gracefully out of her nice parking spot and I glided gracefully in.
Tea and scone’s anyone?
